A hairy situation

[EDIT: In the time since writing this post I've come to recognize that some of the terminology I used is problematic and culturally appropriative. However, I've decided not to change the wording of the post, because it reflects the understanding I had at the time.]

"What the fuck is that?!" enquired a customer at my workplace last week.

I looked up startled, then looked around, completely baffled as to what he might be referring to. He was clearly staring right at me. Had I been doing something odd? Did I have something on me? Was there a slimy space monster bursting out of my chest like that horrible scene from Alien?

'Cause that would definitely warrant his question.

One of my co-workers, we'll call him Stan, saw that I was confused. Stan works in sales and apparently knows this customer well enough to make a little joke at his expense. He smiled and said, "Don't worry, Tyler. He's just jealous he 'cause doesn't have any!"

Ohhhhh, it's my hair!!

I gave a half-hearted, awkward laugh. Most of my time at work is spent in the warehouse, but occasionally I have stuff to do up front. This means I occasionally interact with customers. And this particular one was a little cantankerous.

"That shit looks like it's flammable," he continued, "I think you should cover that up."

I shrugged and went back to what I was doing. Stan asked the customer what he needed and the two of them went off to find some product. I heard the customer add, "I've never understood why someone would fuck up their hair like that."

Stan, clearly adept at using humour to defuse awkward situations, responded, "Ah, you never know— maybe some day I'll head off to Vegas and come back with a head full of dreadlocks!"

"Ugh," said the customer with obvious disgust, as I tried and failed to picture Stan with dreads.

Next week it'll be four years since I started my dreads. Back then I reminded myself that different people see the world differently, and to some people dreadlocks might look stupid, and I can be okay with that. So this fellow's comments didn't really bother me. Mostly I'm just amazed that anyone takes the time to say mean things at all. It's hard to imagine what the point is.

I'm glad my co-workers have got my back though. I mentioned in my previous post they didn't seem to mind my pretty nails. They don't seem to mind my goofy hairstyle, either. :)

Purple! ♥

Way back in this post I mentioned I was thinking of dyeing my dreads. Well, guess what I finally got around to doing last weekend?

Ta-daa!!

It came out a bit darker than I wanted, but overall I'm pretty happy with it.

When I started crossdressing I wondered whether dreadlocks would be feminine enough. I considered cutting them off and using a wig until my hair grew long again. Then I learned of the beautiful and talented film director Lana Wachowski— and watched this— and realized a trans woman can actually look great with dreadlocks! And so far that knowledge has kept my scissors at bay. Well, that and the fear that having short hair would seriously aggravate my gender stress.

It's funny: I often forget I have an unconventional appearance. Sometimes I'll be out walking somewhere and wondering, "Why does every one keep looking at me? Do I have something on my face or what?" Nope, I just look different, that's all.

Different and beautiful! At least that's what I tell myself...

Today was a very different day than yesterday. Yesterday I was as depressed as I've ever been about my gender. I managed to go to my classes but otherwise pretty much spent the day in bed. Today however, I set aside time to get all pretty, (and took the photos you see here), and I feel so much better having done so. It was the first time I'd fully crossdressed in over a month. I guess expressing my gender makes me happy!

Three years of matted hair!

[EDIT: In the time since writing this post I've come to recognize that it's problematic and culturally appropriative for someone like me to use the term "dreadlocks" to describe my hairstyle. However, I've decided not to change the wording of the post, (except for in the title), because it reflects the understanding I had at the time.]

Three years ago today I sat in a chair for seven hours while my friends backcombed my hair with a metal flea comb. And I haven't touched a hairbrush since! This was the process of beginning my dreadlocks, and since then they've grown thick and started to actually look pretty good.

Here's what they've looked like over the years (most of these pics are boy mode):

One month - still just kind of a mess

Eight months - starting to take shape

Two years

Now (and in girl mode!)

Because I've had dreads for longer than I've known I was trans, I've never had a chance to wear wigs when I crossdress-- (I can barely fit a bicycle helmet over these things, I'm pretty sure wigs are out of the question!) On the one hand I love the idea of using my real hair, and it's convenient that dreads are a unisex style. On the other hand, I'm missing out on playing around with more feminine styles.

Three years is a long time to have the same hairstyle. I'm not ready to cut them off yet, but maybe soon I'll try dyeing them pruple or something crazy like that!