Thursday, 1 August 2013

Choosing a girl name

When I first began to realize I might be a crossdresser, I started reading a lot of stuff about it on the internet. I soon noticed that almost all of the MtF crossdressers in the online community had a nom de femme, and that that was the name they usually went by. I thought to myself, "That makes sense, why not?" At the time I didn't really feel like I needed a girl name, but it seemed like a cool part of the culture of crossdressing. In addition to that, it just seemed practical: if I was hoping to one day pass as a woman, I'd want a ready answer if someone asked me my name.

So I made a list of girl names that I liked: Hannah, Tiffany, Caroline, Amber, and Hillary. Then I noticed that if I chose Tiffany as a first name and Amber as a middle name, I could keep the same initials I have as a guy. So thats's what I went with at first.

But Tiffany never really felt like me. I'm not sure why, but that name always felt more like an alter-ego, or like some woman I was aspiring to be, rather than the person who I just am. Some crossdressers talk about their other gender as though they have a split personality, and while there's nothing wrong with that, it's not what I wanted for me. I started to question whether I should have a girl name at all. In the end I decided I would choose something closer to my boy name. Since my boy name is Tyler, the obvious choice was Taylor. I chose Ashley as a middle name because it sounded like my boy middle name. But when I realized I didn't actually like the name Taylor (at least not for me), I switched them around. So now I'm Ashley.

To be honest, I'm still not sure if a girl name is something I need. But then, so far I've only used it on the internet. Perhaps once I've been caled Ashley in the real world, once that name has been spoken aloud, perhaps then it will seem real to me.


  1. Choosing a name is difficult, it is better to be given one than to choose one yourself. Ive gone through a few names over the years and am still not happy with what I go by now. I dont think it really suits me but I cant really decide what else to change it too. Ive asked a few friends to help me pick a new name but they couldnt come up with anything.

    As for whether you feel you need a femme name, well thats an entirely personal choice. But if you live two seperate lives and you want to get out and about in public as your female self, a female name will sound a lot better than a male name. If you choose to blend your two genders together then I suppose keeping a male name would work.

  2. To be honest I think Aimee is a really pretty name, but in a way it's encouraging to know you're not totally satisfied with it, cause it means I'm not alone in feeling that way! :) I agree, being given a name would be better.

    At some point I definitely do want to go out as my female self, and, for that reason at least, I ought to have a girl name. But of course that's different from having a psychological need for one, the way (I assume) a transsexual person would.