So, I started a job a couple weeks ago. I'm now working in the warehouse of a small company that makes and sells concrete and related products. It's pretty cool, I guess. In any event, none of my co-workers said anything mean or treated me any different when I showed up on my second week with my nails done. That's an improvement from my previous job.
Between the depression and the gender dysphoria, it can be pretty hard to make myself get out of bed in the morning. The though of presenting as a boy all day is so dismaying. This past week I managed it by setting myself very short term goals. When I woke up I would tell myself, "Okay, forget about going to work: for now I'm just going to go pee and brush my teeth. Once I've accomplished those tasks I can think about maybe getting dressed and making breakfast, but let's take things one at a time."
And so far it's been effective. At least, I haven't missed any work yet.
I so wish focusing on taking things one at a time had been part of my way to get myself going in the morning years ago.
ReplyDeleteThese days staying in the moment has become a way of life for me.
Eat well and get lots of exercise.
I've never dealt with gender dysphoria but definitely hear you on the depression side. There's been days where the only thing that got me out of bed was the promise of hot chocolate. Chocolate can convince me to do a lot. It got me through two years of working in a call centre (despite phone anxiety). Course it also got me up to 212 pounds but I did make it to work almost every day. I've lost 45 of those pounds so far but still love chocolate.
ReplyDeleteThere's a kid at my work who I'm reasonably sure identifies as male (funnily enough it hasn't come up in break room conversations). He was putting on perfume in the break room on Friday, while telling me it's his favourite perfume because it smells so pretty. He's the nicest kid and gets along well with everyone.
There are good people out there. I hope you've found some of them at your job.
How is your job going? I hope this week's been good.
ReplyDeleteSeems like it's going pretty good so far, thanks for asking. :)
DeleteI can definitely relate to the whole phone anxiety thing. I think it would take a LOT of chocolate to get me through working in a call centre. Vodka might be more effective. :)