I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's there. I know it's real. But I've stopped moving towards it. I'm no longer putting one foot in front of the other. And why? Because... it's too dark, I guess? I mean, come on, you could stub your damn toes walking around in the dark!
So instead I'll just sit down here and bash my head against the tunnel wall for a while.
|Of all the lights at the ends of tunnels that Google images returns, I like this one.|
Image from here.
Okay wait, what does this metaphor even mean?
What it means is, because I haven't been taking any actual steps toward transition or even making any effort to express my gender, I feel depressed. And because I feel depressed, I lack the motivation to take those steps or make that effort.
And I am just barely restraining myself from actually bashing my head against a wall— that part's nearly not a metaphor.