Pages

Sunday, 8 March 2015

I got a job!

After four months of unemployment, I finally found a job! Er, well, to be honest, I didn't really find it, it sort of fell into my lap. The company that my mother works for had an opening I was qualified for, and she just so happens to be the HR manager, so I got it that way. I'm a little uncomfortable with how nepotistic that seems, but a job's a job, right?

I've been there a week now. On the one hand, I'm stoked that with money coming in I can now start electrolysis without having to worry about my finances. Yay yay yay!! On the other hand, it turns out that I already slightly hate the job, so that's not as cool. It's powder coating metal products, which is okay, it's just that it's yet another industrial labour job and I was really hoping my next one would be something different. That and the hours are longer than what I want to be working.

The other thing that's weird about it is that every single woman who works for that company works in an office. All of the actual labourers are men— (well, except me of course, but I'm kind of in disguise). And like, I get that there's some heavy lifting and the whole testosterone and upper body strength thing, but I've worked alongside women at jobs that were a lot more physically demanding than this one. And it's a big company too, so it's not just the effect of a small sample size. All that makes me pretty sure that male privilege was a factor in me getting the job, which would be uncomfortable enough if I were actually male, but it feels even weirder as a trans woman. Not to mention that it sucks being the only girl, since I generally relate more easily with women than men.

Rosie the Riveter could do my job no problem.
Part of me wants to keep handing out resumés in the hopes of finding something that suits me better. But I'd feel bad quitting right away when it was my mom who hired me, especially since the company's already spent money getting me certified for various safety things. Another part of me, (the defiant part), wants to stick it out through the course of my transition, just to prove that yes, a girl can do this job. And another part of me, (my guilt complex), feels like I ought to be more grateful for the work when so many people in this world have a hard time finding employment.

So yeah, I guess my feelings on it are somewhat complicated, but for the time being I will probably be powder coating metal.

8 comments:

  1. Hi hon!

    Congratulations on the new job!!! Having endured more than a few long stretches of unemployment, I know what a relief it is to finally have a job, even if it's not the one you really want. The old cliche that it's easier to find a job when you *have* a job is a cliche precisely because it's true. :c)

    You're taking the right approach, hon: you understand that this isn't forever, it's just for right now. You *will* find something better.

    If I can help in any way, just let me know. I'd be happy to give your resume a once-over if you like (I'm a writer), so feel free to drop me a line at my private email. You get the "Friends & Family" discount (i.e. a 100% discount). :D

    Congratulations again, sweetie! I know you could do it!

    Hugs,
    Cass

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful news Ashley. YAY is right!

    Of course you have mixed feelings with that situation. It is complicated in so many ways, but I love Cassidy's idea to have your resumé ready to go, so you can apply for something better when it pops up. And you know, other opportunities *will* pop up.

    Hugs, Halle

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Ashley,

    I'm a friend of Cassidy and Halle, but I noticed your blog independently.

    I agree with both of them, that finding a new job is easier when you have one.

    I can empathize with your feelings too. It's complicated during transition when you feel like a girl, but are lumped in with the guys. I totally hated it.

    During my co-op university years I worked in a few industrial labor jobs, and did a few work terms surveying too. They were rough, physical jobs, and the surveying in the fall and winter was wet and cold. But I made good money, so that was the consolation. But my final two work terms were in an engineering office and I loved it. Still good money but warm, dry, and clean. This will happen for you too.

    But the main thing is to have a job. It's important for your personal safety, and for the quality of your transition. It's important to be able to afford good housing, and it's nice to be able to afford electrolysis which can be very expensive.

    So, congratulations on finding a job. Don't worry too much about how you got it. Even in hockey, a goal may be ugly or flukey, but if it goes in, it still counts.

    Confucius seems to have a saying for everything and here's what he said about work ..."any job done well is honorable". Hold your head high, do the best job you can, and move forward to being yourself.

    -alice

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, thank-you all soo much for the encouraging words, it really does help! :)

    And Cass, I may just have to take you up on that offer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any time, hon! Ready and waiting here. :c)

      Hugs,
      Cass

      Delete
  5. Well done on getting a new job Ashley! While it may not be ideal, a job is better than no job. Keep your mind on what you want to use that money on, it has a purpose! And at least you can now look for another, more suitable job while having money coming in. Or maybe you could try and work you way up to a role the office?

    ReplyDelete