Thursday, 10 October 2013

A quick feminist rage post

Apologies in advance. I probably shouldn't be rage-posting on this blog, but... I'm going to anyways.

So, there's this online crossdressing forum that I'm registered on. I don't visit there very often, but every now and then I'll pop in and see what's going on, read a few threads, leave some comments, that sort of thing.

Today a lady had posted saying she was going on her first date with a man, and her first date as a woman, and was asking for advice. (She added that she'd never been into men before but had a crush on this one and was through with trying to categorize her sexuality: a good attitude to have, I think). As you can imagine there was lots of excitement, thoughts on what to wear, what style of wig to go with, tips on staying safe... all the typical stuff you'd expect from a gaggle of crossdressers.

Several people, however, said things like "let him do most of the talking," and "make sure he pays the bill." Someone actually said "be passive; don't talk, listen."

Cue feminist rage moment.

Seriously? Be passive? Don't talk? What kind of 1950s bullcrap sexism is that? You would think crossdressers, whose very existence challenges binary gender norms, would be the last people in the world to appeal to and reinforce the traditional male\female roles. Gender binarism is precisely the reason why so many of us are forced into the closet, why so many of us can't be ourselves around our friends and families, and why so many of us can't dress the way we want to on a day-to-day basis. It's also part of the reason why trans people in general are stigmatized, mocked, and occasionally killed. And yet here we are, propping up that system ourselves. Way to go, gals.

I was a tad nettled.
"Don't talk, sweetheart. Every man loves a woman with no personality!"
Of course, if she wants to be passive and listen, that's fine. If she wants to clean his house and do his laundry afterward, that's fine too, I don't care. What bothered me is that people were recommending passivity solely because she's going to be a woman on a date with a man.

Anyways, I didn't comment there because I'm not a regular and didn't want to take the thread off topic. But typing this out here has felt good.

That is all :)

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